Bringing this one back to the basics, peeps. To be totally up front with the 4 of you that read this, I’ve just been functioning on work, unpacking, nannying, sleep and repeat this month. This will be the first time that I’ve sat down to think about April goals.
I want to start off on a continuation from my last post. While I haven’t made much of any progress the last few months, like I intended. I am holding myself accountable by writing here. If anything at all, it can be used as a tool to look back on in the future. With that being said.. I do, in a sense, feel like a weight is beginning to lift. The weight of stress and the past that I’ve been referencing the last few months.
I still have some things to do at my old apartment yet before I can break ties there but actually being in my new apartment and starting to see it put together, I feel a little more okay than I have in months and months. So, even though I haven’t seen any physical changes, I am seeing significant progress mentally.
This months goals have a central focus: Routine. Now that I’m in a new apartment and metaphorically starting a new “chapter” in my life, my routine has been thrown off and I need/want to get better control of that.
- Meal Plan: Just meal plan, plan my meals for the week (Saturdays) and go grocery shopping for those items. I want to be sure to plan in cravings, desserts, and a substitute or two. My goal is to not deprive myself here or set myself up for failure. The better I plan, the less likely I will be at eating out because I don’t have what I want at home.
- Water: I’ve been doing pretty good on this as an “overall” but the last week and weekend, I fell way back off track. I was pop-less for nearly a month but jumped back on that train because I’ve been extra tired. (And no, I’ve never been a coffee drinker [ishta!]) While I still get plenty of water in, I’m nowhere near my 1/2-my-body-weight-in-ounces goal.
- Practice Self-Love: Self-confidence, self-acceptance, self-everything.. Whatever you want to call it. I’m not ready to divulge, but I’m entering the phase of my post-breakup life where people are going to begin asking questions. Are you dating? Are you seeing anyone? Talking to anyone? The list goes on.. All of those possibilities scare me and give me knots in my stomach more than I have words to explain. Not only am I terrified to go through, fall into, get hurt, etc like I have been in the past.. but I can’t even get past the “why would anyone even look at me?” part of the equation. I don’t see what I know I should in the mirror. I never have. I don’t see what my mom sees or my closest friends. I don’t see what my niece, Emma sees or what my ex-fiance ever saw. That’s why I want to put some significant effort into accepting me for me. I want to lose weight and get healthy, I will. But in the meantime, I need to begin the road to self-love. Because even WHEN I lose the weight, I won’t be a flat stomached, non-flabby woman. No point in wasting another 28 years hating what I see in the mirror. Right?
There you go. Those are my April (and probably longer) goals. I would love to hear how your year is going. What progress have you made or haven’t, that’s okay. Do you have any tips, websites, or book suggestions that discuss and offer solutions to low-self esteem? How do you look in the mirror and not let it prevent you from living the best life each day?
Okay, I better go. My name (AUNTIE) is being repeated and repeated and repeated and repeated and..